All right, so K and I get to this rock town and we're trying to find Q and of course, after all that nastiness went down in Texas with the polygamous sect, these folks out at the Utah rock are extra skittish. Anyhoo, we finally find Q's place and I introduce myself as the HCN reporter and he says: "Oh, yeah. My dad mentioned you." So he invites us in, asks us if we've had lunch and if we'd like to join him with some of his kids and we tell him, no, thanks and we're sorry to bother him and he was very gracious. So this is how the initial conversation went:

Me: "Hi. I'm so-and-so with High Country News and this is K, one of our photographers. Thanks so much for taking some time with us."
Q: "I'm Q and this is my wife A and this is my wife B."
Me: "Great to meet you all. So would you mind terribly showing us how you build these houses in the rock and how you've got power and water in them?"
Q: <stares at me because the polygamy thing didn't phase either me or K>"Uh...yes. That'd be great." <starts tour in his house>

Q was quite astonished that we were not there to cover the polygamy angle, since most of the media go out there and that's what they're interested in. I explained HCN to him and that the angle I wanted to cover was how people interact with the landscape and how they live off the grid and what sorts of things they've done to make this work and make it not work. Another little angle about me--I spent 13 years researching right-wing groups, some of which are survivalist, some of which aren't. And rightist groups that go "back to the land" are different than leftist groups that do. Oh, as an aside--there are 12 families at this rock, 5 of which identify as polygamous.

For leftists, most of the time what you're going to see is people going back to the land in order to reduce their carbon footprints, to live more in harmony with the earth, and to preserve the environment and have organo food in their bodies. For rightists, it's generally about a safe place to raise the kids, so there are these inherent contradictions in how they view things. For example, Q had developed the solar system that powered the houses. He used words like "eco-friendly" and "efficient." They had drip irrigation installed in their orchards and garden. But 3 bathrooms per house with toilets that flush--not composting toilets. And then there's the matter of kids. Q had 8 on the ground, 2 on the way. Both wives were pregnant. The oldest child was 10. So here's a family with 3 adults and 10 kids. 4 of the kids are still in diapers. Disposable. Not very eco-friendly. But then again, cloth diapers for 4 kids (and all the other kids still in diapers there...yikes) means a lot of water to clean them. And this is a desert environment.

So. If you want to go back to the land, live efficiently, and reduce your carbon footprint, polygamy by its very nature isn't the route to go for that. A family of 10-20 people uses a hell of a lot more than a family of 2-4. Just sayin'. But it was interesting talking to Q because he's developed some really intriguing ways to deal with living in caves with regard to ventilation and water and solar. They're constantly working out there, trying new building techniques and figuring out how to do the gardens and the orchards. And deal with the kids. Jesus god, the kids!

I then spent some time with A and B, Q's wives. Now, obviously, A (the older wife) is probably the woman to whom Q is legally married. They all consider B to be a "wife" as well, but that one man/one woman thing ensures that B isn't actually a "legal" wife. And why yes, things like plural marriage do make me think about "one man/one woman" and how polygamists actually  have something in common with GLBTQ people who want to marry someone of the same sex. Now, now. Don't get freaky on me, 'kay? I'm an anthropologist and a historian and these are things I think about.

So let's clear some things up. First, "polygamy" is a generic term that can mean either 1 man and more than one wife or 1 woman, several husbands. If you want to get really technical, the folks out there in the rock are polyGYNOUS. Polygyny means, specifically, 1 man, more than 1 wife. There are cultures all over this planet that engage in polygyny. Keep in mind, too, that polygyny can refer to sexual practices. A man who has one primary female sexual partner and then one or more on the side is also engaging in polygyny. Now the flipside of polygyny is "polyandry." One woman, more than one man. And yes, there are also cultures that engage in that, though not as many as polygyny. An interesting aside--some of the latest figures are that around 70 percent of human societies engage in polygyny. Not necessarily in terms of "marriage" as we think of it, because many human cultures around the planet don't think of marriage in the ways western societies do. But quite a few have flexible interpretations of sex, sexuality, and gender expectations.

Anyway. I am not suggesting that some polygynous groups in this country (and around the world) don't do most heinous, horrible things. Nor am I suggesting that polygyny (or any kind of polygamy) is an awesome way to go. Honestly, it's not for me. And honestly, I do think that some people do use a religious justification for it in order to do really nasty, icky things to girls and women. But I spent the entire day yesterday with a very hospitable group of people who live what a lot of us would consider a non-traditional lifestyle. I spent some time hanging out with lots of kids there (well, duh! This is a religiously inclined group of folks who really do get into that "be fruitful and multiply" thing)--a couple of whom thought I was kinda cool and followed me around, wanting to hold my  hand and show me stuff around the rock. It reminded me of some of the leftist "group marriage" situations I've observed over the years in my travels. Kids running around, laughing and playing and any adult handy stepping in to do some discipline or point something out to them when things got out of hand.

The rock folks have an established system of meetings and order, some good rules for kids and adults, and the community they're building there. Things get done, and people are taken care of. Again, I'm not suggesting y'all run out and grab yourselves a bunch more spouses/partners/dates. Holy hell, I think one would be more than enough for me. Christ on a cracker, if you've been following MY tales of weirdness, you'll know that even my imaginary friends are a shitload of work!

So hanging out for the day with a family that identifies as polygamous confirmed some suspicions:
1) for me, being pregnant all the time would suck. I'm SO not into that.
2) chasing after 8 kids while pregnant would also totally suck.
3) chasing after 8 kids while pregnant and trying to deal with home-schooling and other household stuff would definitely suck even more than one and two.
4) trying to feed, clothe, bathe, deal with 8 kids while pregnant (or not) would most definitely register high on my sucko-meter.
5) polygamy is an assload of work
6) I'm so glad I'm not straight.

Anyway. Our new polygynous rock-dwellin' acquaintances invited K and me to stay the night with them. "Plenty of room," Q said. "Lots of room," A and B chorused. And K was wavering at doing just that. I, on the other hand, am all about journalistic boundaries and I had kind of a weird vibe so I graciously declined their most generous offer and K followed suit, fortunately. On the drive away from the rock, K said: "Was it just me, or did you get the feeling they might be trying to sell their lifestyle to us and maybe even convert us?" And I said: "Oh, totally. But B--she has a way better shot at me than her husband does. And I'm thinking that's not exactly in their playbook." At which point K nearly snorted water out his nose laughing. But I got to thinking. Maybe that's ANOTHER story I should delve into. Whether the wives play while the husband's away...hmmmmmmmm...

Oh, and they invited us back for some paintballin' and ATVin'. Hell, I might just take 'em up on that. Except I'll probably have to sneak my own beer in. Although, A and B make a hell of a fruit smoothie...